Hope you all had a wonderful S’Mother’s Day!
Hangover, Part 3?
Hi! It’s Adam calling.
Is my mother, Joan available?
She’s on her lunchbreak?
Hmmm. I don’t believe you.
Wednesday
Dear Adam-
Just a note to tell you not to call my office at any time. I’m having a lot of trouble with them and they’re a bunch of liars!
Love,
Mom
I give you all permission to use the above for your next Match.com profile update.
Happy Passover and Easter to all!
Sunday
Adam-
Don’t eat nuts! It is bad for you and very hard to digest.
That’s why the doctor told me not to eat corn or anything that can get caught in the intestine. As you know, corn comes out the way it goes in!
I have gallstones, a hernia, a sensitive intestine and high blood pressure so because I’ve been to enough doctors, I have some knowledge of what not to eat. I also have arthritis but because of my age, I’m not complaining.
I’m not putting you in my category at all. Just watch what you put in your mouth and get enough rest. You’ll be fine.
Keep your bowels open.
Love,
Mom
Oh No!…NOT THE DREADED NASAL INFECTION!!!!
3/18/1986
Monday
Dear Adam,
Just a thought!
Tim had an infection before I left.
A nasal infection.
That can be contagious if you drink from the same glass or use the same utensil.
So I hope you didn’t catch it from him.
If you did, you have to go on antibiotics, so you can call Dr. Caplan and he can order it over the phone.
Love,
Mom
You heard my mother!
Now please, everyone. Calmly form 2 lines.
Have your working pens ready and I promise I’ll get to all of you in this delusion one at a time.
Adam-
Maybe you could send a tape to Fenster with a photograph of you.
All the teenagers would go wild when they see you and hear you!
What can you lose?
Maybe they’re looking for a Heart-Throb!
“Anyway, I’ll see you later.”
February 7, 2012
Tuesday
Adam-
You can’t keep going like this 24 hours a day. You can’t go out with Maria Sunday afternoon, Adam. You have to get some rest. What do you want to do-Drop Dead? God Forbid!
Anyway, I’ll see you later.
Love,
Mom
Just now, I drove to one of my favorite cigar places in LA. I walked in hungry for a nice robusto. I looked up. Sitting there. In one of the leather chairs. Talking with the owner of the store. Who? My mother. Seriously? Is there no place sacred left for me?????
Can you say CALLER ID?
October 4
Adam-
Nobody ever answers the phone at your house.
I don’t know why I even have that number.
Love,
Mom
<
I found this in my mother-in-law, Annette’s box of things to throw away.
Can you imagine?! I thought, how DARE she! It’s kinda like throwing away a Picasso…
Monday
Annette-
I got your card. It’s a great card! It says so much.
Thanks for my picture! I don’t look much better than that dog!!
In fact, the dog looks better than me.
I consider you a good friend of mine and I’m glad you feel the same.
LA is getting some bad weather now and I told Maria yesterday to stay home if it’s so bad, she shouldn’t drive in it.
Stay well-
Joan
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